No More "I Wanters"

"Spread love everywhere. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier." - Mother Teresa

In case you have not noticed, we live in a society of "I Wanters." This is a stereotypical trait of six year olds. I know this from having two of them in my family after me, and seeing them in society. Have you ever been in a six year old in the mall, or maybe you've had six year olds, throwing a fit. Probably you heard the words, "I want," in there, or maybe "I don't want," followed by some ridiculous off the walls demand for their happiness. Probably you thought what I think when my little sister is whining and gives one of those "I want" statements: Honestly, who cares?  The problem is that most of us have plenty of what we need. I'm not saying that money isn't hard, but I think everyone I'm sending this email to would agree that they aren't desperate, out of money, end of their rope hopeless. In America we take that for granted, but seventy-five percent of the world (a number I kind of pulled out of a hat, but is also based on some prior research so it's not totally unreliable) is struggling to survive and would jump at what any one of us have. And having stuff is a terrible thing. Really. Stuff will never bring you anything, money, worthless, and the more you have the more you want. You look at the people that have more than you, and you say (I could certainly sub out all of the you's for me) I have to have more or I won't be happy.  We always use that "or" word. I have to have "or." Except we don't actually say I have to have, because somewhere we know that we don't, but we change it out and we become a bunch of "I Wanters." I've noticed by listening to some of my classmates that you all must get tired of hearing me complain about, that this is a reality that doesn't end with six-year-olds. Teenagers do this, and I'd go on a lim to say that adults do it. Sometimes it's about stuff, other times with situations, friends, you name it. But we are all TRAINED as a society to "I WANT."  So maybe you read the Mother Teresa quote and wondered where I was going with what I've written so far. The I want attitude disgusts me. I know it's a problem that's as old as time, but I think going back to say the fifties or sixties, there was more respect, more acknowledging the authorities as in charge and doing what they say. I think if the teachers that taught my teachers saw the way kids behaved today they would be mortified. In other words the "I WANT" culture is getting worse. And the way to break the I Want habit and the I want culture is to do the opposite. What is the opposite of I want? (It's I don't want technically, but that's not really the idea) You want?  Mother Teresa, what little I know about her embodied selflessness, which is what makes her a great choice for this quote. It's especially noteworthy when the people who talk about something deliver on it. We all need to adapt a selfless attitude for several reasons, all of which I think fit under the big category of destroying the "I Wanter" in all of us.  First of all, the defining thing in my life is the Bible, and the Bible couldn't be more crystal clear on this. Religious or not, take these words to the bank from the apostle Paul in Phillipians, (which he wrote in prison for crimes he didn't commit by the way) "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vein conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourself, not looking to your own interests, but each of you to the interests of others." Honestly that would suffice as a quote of the week essay right there, pretty much says everything I want to say.  And here's another thought. How long do we get here? Last Friday we got rear ended sitting at a red light (we're all fine) and it served as a chilling reminder that nothing at all is guaranteed. I'm fourteen, it's easy for me to start planning a future, my wife, kids, what do I want to do, and all that's good and well, but given that even tomorrow isn't a given and that everything we have is going to pass, how can we hold on to what we want? Isn't the fact that we don't even have a tomorrow enough motivation to help others out.  I'm not even talking about a helping others out kind of selfishness. I'm talking about what Mother Teresa was talking about when she said "let NO ONE come to you without leaving happier." That doesn't mean just your friends and family, it means your co-worker that you really can't get along with, the police officer who's convinced you were driving a lot faster than you think you were, it means what it says: everyone.  That requires sacrifice. But honestly, are we going to hoard and gain worldly wealth and fame which passes so quickly? It's not always going to be fun or comfortable to help others out, it might even come at our own expense. That is NOT a bad thing. What we have may fade, and if you want to talk about making a name for yourself, look at Mother Teresa. I can't think of an instance where the giving of love and happiness hasn't come full circle. Not necessarily the wealth, but the emotional reward is infinitely higher for the generous.  So this week, this year, the next time you find yourself "I wanting," I challenge you to say what you would say to a six year old. So what what I want?!?!? Less of us and more serving others, in the small ways, in the big ways, but however you can handle it (and then maybe a little more) and you will be happier, and the world around you will be blessed. Never underestimate your power to change the world even in just taking one small step against the current culture.