Killing Human Pride

“A strong leader accepts the blame and gives the credit.” - John Wooden

We’ve been studying WW1 in social studies and looking at the four MAIN causes of the war. We’ve been asked on a couple of occasions to select the most important underlying cause and write a few paragraphs about it. A lot of people point to the band of alliances that were forming before the war and think, “If there just weren’t all these alliances there could have been a little duel between a Serbian nationalist group and the nation of Austria-Hungary. It wouldn’t have been a GREAT war.” Others point to militarism and look at the competition that was brewing. War was inevitable, right? Both are important causes that led to a devastating war, but the most important cause? I don’t think so.

When asked to select, of these four, the most important thing which eventually led to the first World War, I will ALWAYS select nationalism. Because with all the underlying causes, at the root of all of them is human pride. Don’t get me wrong, national pride is a good thing. I’m certainly proud to be an American. But we let pride spiral out of control just like nations in Europe did before World War I. Alliances? Because we need help. We need to feel bigger. We need to be tougher. Militarism? I don’t buy that. England increases its military. Germany decides to increase its military. Done. But the constant back and forth isn’t about building militaries. It’s about being the biggest, toughest guy on the playing field. Come on Germany. Come on England. At the root of the war is the pride of each nation and thinking that they are the best.

With pride we are so apt to deny responsibility for anything we do wrong, pass on the blame, and try to make ourselves look the greatest. But one of the most respectable things a person can do for their character is to take the blame and give the credit. Humble yourself. And the result of humility is almost always a result of a lot more respect and credit bestowed on you by others.

Understand some things. Taking the blame does not mean taking the blame for things you aren’t responsible for. That would be ridiculous. It means owning your part in the situation. I fight with my brother a lot and there are times when I’m 2% to blame for the problem, but I go and apologize and completely own my wrong for the 2% that I’m wrong for. Sense we all make plenty of screw-ups, we should do plenty of owning our own screw-ups, rather than trying to suppress them. Additionally, it doesn’t mean you get to use your humanity as an excuse for laziness. “Well I’m only human and I’m just not very good at that,” is something you own, but it’s not something you can use as an excuse.

Then, on the other side of the spectrum, you OFFER credit. As with the first point, you don’t offer credit to people who don’t do amazing things. If someone is wearing a hideous outfit you don’t compliment it. If someone’s character disgusts you, don’t compliment it. By the way, when people live in worldly ways that are passed off as “okay” or “normal” you don’t condone it. You don’t do anyone any favors by preaching lies. If the truth offends people, that’s not your problem. As Ben Shapiro, one of my favorite people and speakers in the world says, “Facts don’t care about your feelings.”

But you do need to take time to reflect on the things that other people do well. We are so quick to look for the things people do wrong. And it’s easy to do that because it’s human nature, and like we do ourselves, other people screw up a lot. It’s not particularly natural to look for the good in others. But look for things that people do well. Mom makes a good dinner, you let her know. Someone does a job for you without being asked, you share appreciation and gratitude. Where credit is due, even for the small things you give the credit that you would want someone to notice of you. Even the small things. Give credit. Build other people up. Admit your mistakes.

Again this goes to the golden rule: treat others the way you would want to be treated. We love to quote this saying, but genuinely living by that statement requires us to humble ourselves, lose some of this “self-love” that we preach in our world today, none of us are EVER going to really live by it.

I think it says a lot about your character when you are willing to admit when you are wrong, own your mistakes, and work to grow from them and also when you compliment others for the things that you’d want people to notice you doing that says a lot about your character. As an observer, when people can say: “yeah I screwed that up,” then I’m more inclined to believe them when they argue strongly the other way, and I just respect their character.

Additionally, it feels pretty great when you accept your mistakes and there’s not the constant pressure to maintain perfection resting on your shoulders. Your character matters and your character speaks for itself when you are able to own your shortcomings. You’re human. No one is really going to hold things against you when you have the guts to articulate your own mistakes. It’s the prideful and arrogant ones who give us a headache, because people who boast in what they are, quite frankly, are wrong. As Coach Smith would say in sixth grade PE, “you aren’t all that in a bag of chips.” So take pressure off of yourself, give credit to others, and take the blame for your shortcomings.